I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
