Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
