We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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