She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
