all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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