i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
