I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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