I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
