never play flip cup with pint glasses
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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