She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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