i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
