why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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