Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
