Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
