3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
