i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
