no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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