Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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