apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
