I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
