My room smells like vodka and shame
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
