So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it's great music for shaving your balls
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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