But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
