please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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