He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
