All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize