Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
