I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
