Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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