And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
