And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
