OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
