The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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