So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
