I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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