You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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