Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
