Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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