Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
