does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
