? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
