i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
