I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
