if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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