my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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