Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
