just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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