Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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