they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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