My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
