Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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