Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
