There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm passing your future prison.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
