Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
